I know that in six months my life will revolve around university applications and awkward dinner table conversations where I try to make my father understand that now, after seventeen years he finally needs to stop treating me like his favourite pet kitten and acknowledge that I really have grown up. Not while he was away on conferences or teaching but right there, in front of him while he looked away.
I learnt a lot this year. I've learnt to be at peace with complex relationships, to smile from afar, to let life take its course, to critique politely, to be less self centered and, most importantly, to let go sometimes. To list seems redundant because so many lessons cannot be put into words. They are part of instinct now, mistakes I will not make again.
But next year. I have no idea where I'll be or what I'll be doing. The people I will meet then are complete strangers to me now. Routine will change. Will values change too? Will I observe and laugh or plunge myself into everything with full force and learn?
I don't know. But this time next year I'll be making a decision. And that decision may or may not affect me for the rest of my life but it will sure as hell change everything at least for a little while.
